NO MORE MACHU PICCHU!
Автор: Sam Perkins
Guys, on behalf of all single ladies in the world, no more Machu Picchu pictures on dating profiles. Please. We beg of you to cease. Everyone gets it. You have a passport, and know how to purchase a flight to Peru. You own hiking boots and a map, and can successfully put one leg in front of the other to hike the lovely trail to Machu Picchu.
Upon reaching the ruins a stranger took a picture of you (or pathetically you took a selfie). While posing for the picture you thought “I’m going to share this on my dating profile when I get back to America”. Mustering a cheesy fake smile, the picture is taken, and you scat back to Indiana to excitedly post the picture on your dating profile.
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Patiently you wait as women within your dating radius clamor to date the “the one who went to Machu Picchu.” You might be waiting a while. A man having a picture atop Machu Picchu is equivalent to a woman saying “I love to laugh”. Both are ubiquitous in online dating.
You’re dating online to win the affection of a woman not to discuss Inca civilization. Are you looking for love or someone to dig arrowheads? You went to Machu Picchu once, one time, but women want to know your day-to-day life, so post a picture in front of your day job; Jiffy Lube, Best Buy, KFC, etc. That’s what you know. Take a picture out front of KFC in your cashier outfit, then hike inside and get a paycheck. That might impress a lady. Machu Picchu isn’t going to get you a date, unless you plan on paying for dinner with Machu Picchu pebbles. Good luck with that Fred Flintstone.
Then again, maybe some women get wet at the thought of Machu Picchu. Lonely women perusing dating profiles having a change of heart when they see the ruins, “His pictures suck. He has a big nose, he’s overweight, definitely not tall enough for me…oh wait, is this him in front of Machu Picchu?! What is happening between my legs right now? I am so turned on. He must get over here now. I must meet this courageous adventure man immediately.”
No more Machu Picchu pictures. The ladies have decided. Leave your phone at home. You are visiting one of the most famous ruins, why bring your cellphone? Let the memory be in your mind, not in your device. Next time a man wants to post a picture of him at Macchu Picchu, let’s all pray the Inca emperor Pachacuti ascends from his grave and slaps his camera/phone into the canyon below.
Send me a dating profile picture of Machu Picchu if you’ve seen one. Also please sign up for my mailing list at the bottom – means a lot.
(and before you hate on me, know I think Machu Picchu is an amazing and special place. Be objective about what you read people. Remember, I don’t observe the obvious).
Lesson: You’re trying to hard man. A real man will surprise a woman for an amazing hike, not talk about it in the past tense. Let’s stop talking about where we went yesterday and take people with us tomorrow for a new amazing journey. If you’ve been to Machu Picchu, the Eifel Tower, or the leaning tower of Pisa, right now you are online dating from your hometown in front of your computer. That’s where you are.