A gentle giant who loves and serves the woman he leads
My husband came up to me a little over a week ago and held me tightly. Then he told me that he wanted to hold me more and he knows that it is my love language. I was so overwhelemed by that. I was so deeply touched.
My husband is a man who loves to give. I have always known him to give of himself. He is a servant. Not a slave but a man who enjoys helping others. He is always the first one to respond in a crisis, never fearing for his own safety. If someone needs a job he will search for one, if one of our children need him he is there with advice or a shoulder to cry on. At work he is known as the problem solver and he really is one.
When he was speaking about love languages it touched my heart like nothing else ever has. I know what his is and I admire him and just enjoy being with him.
We have had a online relationship for almost a year now and I know that he can assert himself at any time with me. But our relationship has been a little different in the past six weeks. I almost died from a severe allergic reaction to an antibiotic and my husband was planning my funeral. Then while I was recovering from that I became ill. Anyway.. He has wanted me to take it easy and totally recover.
There have been times through this health issue that he took me in hand, however, not physically, because at the time he didn't feel I could handle it. It all goes along with his generosity in understanding how I feel. Even to put up with some of the attitude I have expressed in recent weeks tells me that he loves me dearly, and I do him. I also know that he won't put up with a bunch of nonsense.
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Where the rubber meets the road I feel so blessed to have him in my life. I love who he is and how he not only responds with me but to others as well.
I have been able to return to my classroom and I have pictures of my family up. One of the parents of a student came up to me and was looking at a photo of my husband and myself and said, “He is a gentle giant.” And he really is!
He is gentle, kind, trustworthy, loving and assertive when need be.
Approaching sub relationships with your spouse
Last summer I was looking for something about obedience on the internet and the Loveawake site appreared. I read on the site for quite a while that day. I was suprised to see that there were many other couples who had a relationship. I knew that it was something I wanted for us. Something I had always wanted but never had the courage to bring up.
Anyway, I emailed my husband about it and shared some things with him. After dinner that evening he checked out the site for himself.He took some time to think about it and we continued to talk about it for several days.
Then it was decided that we both wanted to incorporate this into our relationship. It has enhanced our marriage. There have been up times and down times. There have been times where I did not cooperate and I learned a lot about obedience in the process. There have been many times when I didn't sit very well while learning about obedience.
In the beginning there were a couple of times when there was a problem between us he would go back into his cave. Those were difficult. As time moved on he realized that backing away from an argument was not what it was about. There was a simple solution and that was taking me in hand.
My advice to you: Read the site some more. Decide what you want and simply discuss it with your husband. Share with him your desires and the type of relationship you want. Ask for his input.
Share the site with him and give him some space to think about what he has read. When you feel the time is right ask him what he thinks. Don't wait for years like I did. I wish I had brought the subject up earlier in our marriage. But then I didn't have the courage, I thought that maybe he would have thought it was stupid. I know now that he would have supported it! So all of those years it could have been different.
Loveawake isn't just about spanking although I have received many of those. There is just so much more to it than that. Sometimes he will give me a look or put his hand on my shoulder in a certain way. Sometimes it is in his voice. A few weeks ago when I was recovering at home I was suppose to rest in the afternoon and I didn't. He looked right at me and said, "you disobeyed me!" There wasn't much I could say because he was right. He was upset but didn't taken me in hand physically because I was still too sick. But I certainly heard it in his voice and I felt so bad. It really made an impression on me. He is the love of my life and I love him so dearly.
I wish you all the luck and hope that you find the answers you are looking for. I hope I was able to help in some small way.
I am new to the site & have been browsing & read your article. I guess my question for you is did you or your husband approach the subject? And how did the subject come about? I would love to be taken in hand & my husband is an Alpha male, but I don't know what to say to bring up the subject & implement it. Please let me know your advice. Thanks, Rhondy